Shadow Work®
In brief, Shadow Work® is an opportunity for you to explore (and reclaim!) parts of yourself that have been repressed, disowned, or denied.
Why would anyone want to do that?!
Good question! We (intentionally or unintentionally) repress, disown, or deny aspects of ourselves for good reason … For example:
Maybe you learned that anger was dangerous (so you repressed your anger so that you didn’t cause harm);
Maybe you learned sadness was a burden (so you denied ever being sad because some other expression was more acceptable);
Maybe you had a caregiver that tended to be depressed, and you learned that your joy* was too painful for that caregiver to be with (so you disowned your joy so that you could get love from your caregiver).
Here’s the catch of disowning parts of yourself… they never actually go away**. What?! That’s right! They never actually leave. That’s great news! They’re still part of you and, because of that, you can learn how to re-access them on your own terms so you can live more fully into ALL of who you are. P.S. It takes a lot of energy to hold them back… so reintegrating those energies will actually give you more energy for living! Yay!
*Sometimes “good” stuff, like joy, goes into shadow, too!
**A common example: If you’ve repressed anger, sometimes it might surprise you and sneak out in a kind of explosion when you least expect it. Or it might show-up as passive-aggressive… and the harm you’ve been trying to avoid ends up happening anyway.
For more information about the “shadow” in Shadow Work®: https://shadowwork.com/about-the-shadow/
The Overall Process
A Shadow Work® process starts when I ask you something like, “What would you like to have happen?” (In a group setting, there are always at least two facilitators present, and in a coaching session, there might be one or two.) You can then explain what you want for yourself. And if you’re not sure what you want, we’ll keep exploring together and help you get clarity on what you want.
Generally, people want something that falls into one of these categories:
To understand why they behave in a certain way;
To get help or support for unfolding more of themselves;
To work with feelings like fear, grief, or anger;
To break through old patterns of behavior that are no longer working in a productive way.
Using the Shadow Work® tools, I’ll help by working with you to symbolically reconstruct your issue so that you can identify the shadow and view it objectively. I may offer perspectives about the shadow and can facilitate powerful techniques for re-integrating the energy that has been in shadow. I will ask for your choice at each step, so what you want guides the process. No one is ever pressured to go beyond their own comfort level. Ever.
In a group setting, Shadow Work® processes only begin after a strong sense of safety and trust has been built among group members through carefully designed group exercises. Exposing parts of your shadow can feel risky. To effectively work with your shadows, you need a place where you can feel safe and trust others. Shadow Work® provides you with such a place.
Because Shadow Work® is experiential—that is, you learn through experiencing it while having the guidance and support of a skilled facilitator—it is sometimes difficult for someone who has never experienced one to imagine what a Shadow Work® process could be like.